Life is ART..I see it in everything.

The more you leap into the unknown, the more you discover that the unexpected is rarely something you need to actually worry about

We Have Too Much of Everything

The Things You Own End Up Owning You

One of the questions I seem to always get from people is, hey, Gus, why is it that you seem impervious to the daily stressors of life and seem so light and stress-free for? I mean, I’ve known you since like high school and I don’t think I’ve ever seen you get mad before..like ever.. How can I learn to not be so crazy that I want to pull a pocket knife out on the truck driver who cut me off after sitting on Route 80 in standstill traffic for the past 35 minutes?  So in an effort to help my friends and coworkers out, to live life free of stress and rage, I put together a few insider tips that I call upon in my day to day life. Enjoy.

1.         The power and benefits of an early morning alcoholic beverage cannot be overstated. Try to integrate it into your normal breakfast routine (i.e., a splash of vodka in the ‘ol bowl of cereal). Try to keep the liquor light and enjoy
2.         When a “firedrill” comes up at work or when things are getting complicated in life, ask yourself the following question: Will I care about this issue/problem in 3-5 years? Like will it seriously have an impact on my life? Most of the time the answer’ll be no. If the answer is no, say fuck it do not stress out about it or run yourself ragged over a temporary problem. The way I see it, life is short so why complicate the comparative little time we have on this planet by worrying about temporary non-important things. Shift your focus.
3.     I was actually joking about number 1…I’m not an alcoholic lol. (though, drinks with friends are always a great way to reduce anxiety and stress. Stick to milk in that bowl of cereal. Post 5pm all bets are off though)
4.    Punch something – not somebody. And don’t really punch something. Back in my younger angst ridden teenage years, I’d flip a table over or punch a mirror or wall when I was overcome with anger. While punching the mirror in my dining room released some of that rage, my mom made me mop the pool of blood off of the new hardwood floor..so that’s the not best way to shift your focus towards the positive. What I mean by “punch something” is exert energy by being active. Go for a lively jog in your neighborhood park, pump some iron at the gym, do some yoga, some pushups or strap on those old pair of nikes and play a few hours of ball a week. Working out like a maniac is probably one of the key components of my stress reduction routine…it’s also pretty healthy and it allows me to eat a lot without fear of gaining 123 pounds.
5.         Drink tea (no explanation required)
6.         Empathize – As I mentioned previously, I’m not trying to be morbid about it but we’re all going to die. When we realize that our time here is finite, it’s easier for us to appreciate the more important/beautiful aspects of life. When someone pisses you off, when the customer support lady for Sprint keeps you on the phone for fourty minutes, gets snippy with you and is of absolutely no help at all, try to remember that we’re all trying to get along and that we all have baggage/issues/problems that we’re wrestling with..maybe he/she is having a bad day.

There you have it. Follow these six tips and you’ll be right on your way to reducing a certain stress induced heart attack, to feeling better and probably happier and all that awesome shit as well. #kidcubicleapproved

You’re not your job. You’re not how much money you have in the bank. You’re not the car you drive. You’re not the contents of your wallet. You’re not your fucking khakis. You’re the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.

We’re consumers. We are byproducts of a lifestyle obsession. Murder, crime, poverty, these things don’t concern me. What concerns me are celebrity magazines, television with 500 channels, some guy’s name on my underwear. Rogaine, Viagra, Olestra…Fuck Martha Stewart. Martha’s polishing the brass on the Titanic. It’s all going down, man. So fuck off with your sofa units and Strinne green stripe patterns.